***24 June 2005 –Destination
unknown
I love you, but I have
to go.
This was the hardest decision she had ever made, but even though it made her feel deeply sad, she knew that it was the right one.
I wish I could have given
you one last kiss, but that just feels too hard for me to do..
I’m so sorry but I HAVE to go!
He would never let her leave. But it wasn’t her war anymore, neither that of her child. Since she arrived at Azaki depot she never found back her niche, she felt alienated from everyone. Now she knew why: for them the war wasn’t over yet, but for her it was. She would never be able to be a real soldier anymore. After they had attacked the 336th Sentinel base of the Empire Aaricia had been feeling pretty bad. Yes, it was the enemy and she had been brainwashed by them and put there, but still for her some people that served there.. she still considered them her friends. Just like Andy, the father of her daughter. An Imperial, and yet she still felt compassion and kindness for him.
She felt.. like she was stuck between both sides, getting squashed…
And her belly had been growing, it would only be a matter of weeks before the child would be born. She didn’t want Mathilda to be a part of this war, neither herself anymore.
She remembered the wedding, only a week ago.
No, forget it Aaricia.. it is over, don’t hurt yourself even more.
For Jarome the war simply wasn’t over. While tears streamed over her cheeks and, biting her lip, she stared into the bright sun of the Talus system she tapped in the code for lightspeed, to destination.. unknown. She listened to the countdown bleeps and gave Talus a last glance. Then the stars changed into starstripes and she forcefully got pushed with her back against the chair, her stomach turning into infinite knots.
Goodbye Jarome.. goodbye
Val-Tane, Jordiane.. goodbye everybody..
*some papers are lying next to Aaricia’s neatly made bed*
________________________
Dear Jarome,
I’m sorry but I have to leave. I love you and leaving like this
tears my heart apart, but I want to keep the child safe from the war, get back
my memories.. find back
myself. I know that the war still isn’t over for you, but for me it is. All the
stuff that I’ve been through lately has changed me so much that.. that I feel more like I’m stuck
between both sides, than the rebel that I think I used to be. I feel alienated,
I don’t know who I am, but I do know that I’m not a soldier anymore. It’s over
for me, and in Azaki.. oh my
god the people are nice but it is a war base.
I cannot stand it any longer. You still have this war to fight, Jarome.
That’s why I leave you now. I'm so sorry..
Oh my god this is the hardest decision I have ever made.. but I have
to go. I love you and always will.
May the force be with you,
Aaricia
________________________
Dear Scaeme,
it was wonderful meeting you after Jarome and I got married. We are the last two Silverstar’s, soon the last three..
when the child gets born.
Scaeme I’m leaving for now, I’m leaving the war. Well I try.. I just don’t want the child get consumed by it, like what happened to myself. I’m so sorry about.. I’m sorry.
I love you and always will. May the Force be with you.
Aaricia Silverstar
________________________
Dear Jobosan,
slowly I’m starting to remember
things about us. You have also been a soldier in 101st Daggerwolf company and we
considered each other brother and sister. I think you have helped me a lot and
I consider you a good friend of mine.. I mean brother
We are all one big family and it is hard for me to leave the
Corellian sector now, but I have to. I don’t know if I will ever come back, and
if yes, when. I lost myself for a big part and need to find back myself.
I’m not afraid anymore Jobosan. The child
will be born soon, and I will raise her on a place where there is no
influence of the Civil war.
Give my regards and a big hug to Iara,
Gou-geo, Scaeme and Xanado.
You are all in my heart.
May the Force be with you, brother.
Aaricia Silverstar
________________________
To all the beautiful people on Azaki Depot,
I don’t know how much to thank you for everything. But I have to
leave. When you are reading this I have already left. I’m leaving the Corellian
sector. I don’t know the destination yet.. I’ll wait
and see what fate brings me.
You got me out of the hands of the Empire and did a lot to
help me finding back myself. I feel grateful for this from my
very heart. The child will be born soon. I'm gonna raise her somewhere, where
there is no war. My heart feels torn apart, leaving like this..
*salute* Aaricia Silverstar *some emails have been sent * ________________________ @#%#$///ENCRYPTED
MESSAGE Dear
Dr. Vernant Globewalker, I
don’t remember much about you, but I think that we have known each other
before the brainwash.
but I know that this is the right decision.
May the Force be with you.
I still feel pretty mad about this. But I also realize that you are, just
like all the others, just a tiny part in the big machinery. If
it hadn’t been you, than another person had done it. The system has made
us crazy or something.
I have
left the Corellian sector to really find back myself. The child is almost
born. I will go to a place where there is no influence of
the war, and raise her there.
I
remember that you wanted to help me by brainwashing me, with the hope that I
would be able to lead a ‘normal’ civilian life after it. But you shouldn’t fill
these things in for other people. Everybody
has his or her own path to go in life, and makes his or her own decisions. You
shouldn’t mess with other people’s minds.
If you worry about other peoples lives and their feelings and thoughts,
you loose track of your own feelings. What are you compensating,
trying to make other people happy with force?
Aaricia Silverstar
\\\TRACING
TRACING TRACING -----
source untracable
________________________
@#%#$///ENCRYPTED
MESSAGE
Dear
Dr. Roseward,
when
you are reading this I have already left this place, I don’t know when or if I’m
coming back, but for now I have decided to leave the Corellian sector, find
some place to live completely on myself and raise the. It will be born
very soon.
I have
thought of you lately, seeing some similarities. You
spying for the local Rebel cell while at the same time having a
relationship with Lieutenant Onoxa. I feel a bit like I’m stuck in this war,
between both sides.. you seem to be
between them literally.
I
think you are a courageous, and interesting, woman. It was good to have known
you.
Sincerely, Aaricia Silverstar \\\TRACING
TRACING TRACING -----
source untracable ________________________ @#%#$///ENCRYPTED
MESSAGE Dear
Andy, I
don’t know if you are still alive, also a soldier in the war only on
the other side. I am
leaving the Corellian sector to find back myself, my real self.
And to raise the child, on a place where there is no war. Please
stay out of the war.. in your mind.
Aaricia Silverstar
\\\TRACING
TRACING TRACING -----
source untracable
________________________
@#%#$///ENCRYPTED
MESSAGE
Dear
Lieutenant Onoxa,
I know
what things you have done to a lot of people, including myself. But still I think
that deep from the inside you must be a nice person. It only seems to be buried under a
thick layer of coldness and bitterness. Should I blame you for all of this then, I
wonder. Then I should blame myself too, because, even though the result of a
brainwash, I have thought a lot alike you.
Aaricia Silverstar
\\\TRACING
TRACING TRACING -----
source untracable