***15 January 2005 –Anbato, drugs and violence

 

I haven’t written in my diary last days because I was pretty busy. But as I have more time (I’m spending some days in the Tatooinian desert in solitude) now I will write what happened à

 

11 January

There was a big intergang battle in the city; I was with Lyzzie, the doctors were still finding out why she has metal in her body and what the function of this is. Outside the Nexxus, a gang that consists of colored people on swoops (they are shouting to all women: “hey baby come and take a ride on my swoop” and such), had a fight with the Looneys. Stormtroopers and cops tried to get control over it but I guess it took a while (I wasn’t watching all the time since I didn’t want anyone hit me with his or her weapon by accident). A bit later I spoke with Bill and I told about Lyzzie, he said ‘she can sleep in my house too if she wants’. I thanked him and Lyz and I moved to his house. We were about to change clothes when suddenly I got a comm call. “Watch over your shoulder”, “I want… YOU” and such threats. It was Anbato, definitely. I gave the commlink to Lyzzie and she shouted some joke things into it, we had to laugh a lot.

We changed and were about to lie into the bed, when suddenly I heard footsteps and there.. Anbato entered the room! He grabbed my pistol from the table before I could do it, Lyzzie still had her pistol in her hands. He said ‘look over your shoulder’ and bragged about his ‘breaking-into-houses’ skills, he said that he is a professional and we of the Alliance are not. Then he left very quickly, I wish I could have shot him, tie him up and contact the others.

 

I left the house with Lyzzie after sending Bill a coded comm message. We slept in the desert under the sky. I tried to stay awake so I could watch for wild animals but I must have fallen asleep after a few hours because suddenly Lyzzie woke me up and the sun was shining again. Brrr Tatooinian nights are cold!

 

I wonder what Anbato was doing: either he was (going) crazy or he was playing some tricky game (with me, the Alliance(?) and maybe now Lyzzie too).

 

12 January

The Jazz club was opening (I saw on the Holonet) and Lyzzie and I decided to go there. Lella maybe would come too. We changed into chique ball dresses, it was kewl J

At the party there were a lot of people, even the gangs were there, also in chique outfits. The Nexxus people had really kewl pimpy suits. The cops were there too, the doctors, a lot of Imperials and lots of other people. Lella arrived later too. How weird, we were all partying, even the enemy was at the party. It was like there was no war, although the party would probably turn out into a war if they knew what I really do in my life.

 

 

I couldn’t get into the mood.. Anbato was at the party too, it was Draxxus his brother that organized it. I wondered why I had come here, but now I was here.. and well I wanted to have some fun. But I didn’t manage.. well a bit because of that ‘pleasure’ pill that I bought from some doshan a few days ago. But this only worked for a short time and after it I felt even more miserable than before. It was when the fireworks started. I heard somebody else sighing: ”I wish that he was here too.” Then I thought of Xtyx.. he could have been here too, standing next to me, at this moment. Watching the same fireworks that I was watching. I allowed myself to cry, I didn’t care what people could be thinking. I’m just human and sometimes I have feelings just like everybody else. I don’t have to tell them why I feel like this, who cares..

 

Then I spoke with Ani’a. Someone from the Alliance had told me that Ani’a is a rebel sympathizer and I decided to check this out. She is a reporter now, I saw her yesterday too. She was shot by some weird guy in complete armor (even covering his face) but she was patched up by doctors again. This night I remembered her face from before too.. from a few months ago, when I spread my propaganda flyers and I was chased by stormtroopers afterwards. Just before I left the city she spoke to me. She remembered too..

 

 

She fears for her life, but she wants to give us information once in a while. It can be handy if we get this from somebody that is in a position like hers. Maybe she can interview the leader of the Imperial garrison and such and get useful information from this.

There was some very weird thing happening too.. well first I thought it was Lyzzie having just some weird trip, but later that night it turned out really weird. I recognized the little female bothan cop called Kisra, she was wearing some weird dress and acted a bit quiet. Lyzzie was totally scared of her, she called her ‘dogface’.. no she wasn’t scared, she was frightened, almost totally panicked. After we left the party and I booked one night in the hotel for Lyzzie and me, and we were falling asleep, Lyzzie suddenly jumped up from her bed and left the room. I followed her and there was Kisra. My stomach turned and I started feeling very sick, Kisra was holding her hands against her ears and the two kept watching each other. “You are not me!”, Kisra shouted. “Yes you are!”, Lyzzie shouted back. Then Lyzzie ran away and Kisra gave me the darkest glance that I have ever seen: “You haven’t seen this!” I was so frightened.. I  had nightmares the days after this and only now I can remember it. It was like my brain was fried or something. But I won’t tell anybody, I’m too scared to do this.

 

13 January

Today Lella, Jobosan and I went to Eisley and Anchorhead to recruit new people for the Alliance. We gave flyers to people and in AH we put on our Alliance dress uniforms (we have such kewl uniforms J I love to wear it, it is a pity that I cannot march in them in public –to show it to other people). AH looked almost completely deserted. I saw holes in some walls probably from laserblasts and it made me shiver: had the Empire swept this place or something recently? I remember AH as very busy, and Alliance people could just walk on the streets in their uniforms. But now.. nobody. Only one or two people..

 

 

Jobosan ordered us to stop for today, we will continue this another time. And we went to Entha to have a drink at the Fallen Star. Bill came there too, Jobosan got a comm message and he had to leave. But before this Anbato entered the cantina and I saw Jobosan get very angry. “No don’t do it Jobosan.”, the others told him, “Not yet at least.. orders from high command.” I could only watch, feeling paralyzed. I remember yesterday in the Jazz club, Anbato acting nice even saying ‘sorry about yesterday’. He even wanted to buy a drink for us.

After Jobosan left Lella and Bill started talking about a drinking contest. O yeah, kewl I thought, I’m in too! Bill got a bottle of whiskey and we started to drink. It was very funny but I’m not very used to drinking much alcohol, Lella and Bill seem to be used to it much more so soon I quit the contest, feeling totally drunk. Then some cops entered the cantina and they talked to us. One of them smashed the bottle, Bill got another one. I got a bottle of water for myself, but the cop took that from me too. What the heck were they doing? I don’t remember much because my brain was a bit clouded. I remember some little rodian Looney, talking to me and later pimping or something with his swoop. Somehow I went to the medcentre because the next thing I remember is lying on the floor outside of it and Talln talking to me “You better come in”.

Then Lella approached and she started laughing. She and Bill were acting very funny and it made me laugh too. This whiskey apparently made our minds a bit elevated too. Talln put us onto beds (Bill arrived too) and we were acting very funny, I don’t remember it very well.. but then suddenly Lyzzie came in, crawling over the floor blooding heavily. Then I started feeling really bad, I felt guilty to Talln, to Lyzzie, I felt like I was nothing but a joke, like a stupid clown. I walked towards Lyzzie and said to her that this person that stabbed her would be kicked in his butt by me, then Ani’a said to me “I’m disappointed, I thought that your people didn’t use violence”. Those drugs exaggerated my feelings a lot and I fell so bad that I wanted to hurt myself. I ran outside the medcentre, into the desert. There I could rationalize enough to keep me from hurting myself and make a simple camp to sleep.